6 Quotes & Sayings By Lisa Lampanelli

Lisa Lampanelli was born in Ithaca, New York, on August 2, 1966. She attended school at the University of Maryland College Park and graduated in 1988. She started her career as a stand-up comedienne in the early nineties, while working at a local comedy club. Her first album, "Killer Queen" was released in 1995 Read more

It went double platinum and has since been certified gold. She has appeared on television numerous times including an appearance on Saturday Night Live, HBO's Def Comedy Jam, The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, The Howard Stern Radio Show and other national comedy shows. In 2000 she moved to Los Angeles to pursue movie work and has since appeared in such films as "Big Trouble," "Gridiron Gang," and "Bringing Down the House."

1
I was 25 myself once. I also thought I knew everything. I also thought that I could give singers singing advice and comics comedy advice. When you're that age, you know it all, so I understand it. But when you're tired and you don't have patience for it, you definitely snap. Lisa Lampanelli
2
I got sick of trying everything. I tried every single thing imaginable - diet, exercise. I even bought a house on the health spa property, and I still gained weight. Lisa Lampanelli
3
The thing is, in the dating profiles it says 'spiritual, ' but not with a specific religion. And so I pretty much try to meditate, but I have a very hard time concentrating on things other than me. Lisa Lampanelli
4
I'm way too famous and rich to be on a dating app, but if I get very desperate by the time I'm 60, I'll go on Tinder. Or I'll go on 'Millionaire Matchmaker'; I'll call Patti Stanger. Lisa Lampanelli
5
I have rage and anger issues. So I get mad about stuff in real life, and then I yell about it onstage, and luckily, something funny ends up coming out. What I'll do is tape-record it, and it will end up coming out even funnier. And I add more punch lines. Lisa Lampanelli